| 100,000aire! (10) | Earn $100,000 lifetime |
| 500,000aire! (25) | Earn $500,000 lifetime |
| Always a Bridesmaid (10) | Come in second place 5 times in multiplayer games |
| Back Taxes (40) | Win all prizes in Episodes 1-73 |
| Beast Master (40) | Get 10 animal questions correct (excluding downloadable content) |
| Beat a Winner (40) | Beat someone with a rating of Unicorn in an Xbox LIVE Match |
| Birth Certificate (5) | Create a contestant |
| Button Banger (15) | Get a multiple choice question right in the first 2 seconds |
| Consolation Achievement (20) | Play 5 hours without getting a single achievement |
| Discover Gauntlet of Fire (10) | Find the very important gauntlet of fire |
| DisOrDash (30) | Ace a DisOrDat in under 10 seconds |
| DisorDat Destroyer (15) | Answer all 7 DisOrDat items correctly |
| DisOrDat Participation Award (5) | Complete DisOrDat in 30 seconds |
| Enscrewsiast (15) | Screw 50 times |
| Film in Your Brain (40) | Get 10 movie questions correct (excluding downloadable content) |
| Genius for a Day (30) | Score at least $30,000 over your average |
| Great Crowd (20) | Laugh at an easy joke |
| It's Just More of This (5) | Finish an episode |
| Jack Attack Dog (50) | Get all 7 Jack Attack questions correct in a multiplayer game without messing up |
| Living in the Past (40) | Get 10 history questions correct (excluding downloadable content) |
| Lose to a Loser (15) | Lose an Xbox LIVE match to someone with a rating at or below Dullard |
| Menage-a-Quatre (20) | Complete a 4-player match on Xbox LIVE |
| Mouth-Breather (20) | Achieve the third-highest rating |
| My First Time (10) | Screw someone for the first time |
| One Teat Short of an Udder (40) | Achieve the second-highest rating |
| Overconsumer (20) | Listen to all the commercials during the credits |
| Perfect Attendance (73) | Play episodes 1-73 |
| Phatty (40) | Get 10 food questions correct (excluding downloadable content) |
| Quick-Draw McDumbass (5) | Choose wrong answer within the first 3 seconds 10 times |
| Slack Attack (37) | Get -$1 million on a Jack Attack |
| Smelt the Roses (15) | Get a multiple choice question right in the last 1 second |
| Social Outcast (15) | Finish 5 single-player games on Friday or Saturday nights |
| Taking It from Behind (25) | Come from behind to win during the Jack Attack |
| The Game's Half Empty (5) | Play episodes 1-37 |
| The Game's Half Full (5) | Play episodes 1-36 |
| The Regis (50) | Earn $1,000,000 lifetime points |
| Turncoat (10) | Play on July 4th instead of celebrating America |
| Unicorn (50) | Achieve the highest gamer rating |
| Vidiot Savant (50) | Get every question right in an episode |
| Virtual Virgin (20) | Answer correctly after being screwed 5 times |
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